Friends For Benefits?? Anyone interested?

Assalamualaykum everyone!

Happy Friday! Have a Baraqah Friday, my favourite day of all.

I wanted to express my feeling to someone, but I was wrong. I don't have anyone that I can trust to speak about it. That’s why I wrote in this platform. Writing is much more easy than speak.

I was wrong again as I would be crazy to choose human over Allah. I should ask Allah first before I figure out who should I speak to. Right?

Well, I do have a lot messy on my plate. But compared to me, I know someone who always have something to share too. To be honest, when I listen to her story I feel more grateful than before. This is because she has a lot of complaint, when I know that she has everything that I don’t possess. She keep complaint about her family, her job, her boring life when the husband not around, her boring work when she got paid very high, her fierce mother and father who always ask for money, her siblings who is not helping and many more.

To start off, we used to work in the same office. We became really closed because of that. But recently, we both change our job. We’re now working in a different office, but she never fails to WA (WhatsApp) me with the same stories. Not that I’m bored, but I do find it really strange.

I would think of her as one of my best-friend as we shared a lot. We cried and happy for each other. We understand each other. We also went holiday together. I was with her when she had a tough time, I was with her through her marriage journey. I know her husband, I’m the one and only friend who came to his husband’s kampong and met his family. We took a lot of pictures together. But surprisingly, when I scroll into her IG (Instagram) I couldn’t find any picture of me.

When we separated, we start to follow each other in social media. That is how I can scroll her IG. Before this, both of us are on private mode. We never follow each other in social media while working together as we afraid of others will spying on us. Hahaha.

Well, I didn’t ask her but it took me by surprised. Not that I’m offended as she didn’t keep my picture in her IG where I put a lot of our picture together. But it makes me thinking, who am I to her?

I know her whole story, I know she has friends who always took advantage on her, used her for their own good. She always feel sad by the way they treated her.

Despite of being treated like sh**, she still hang-out with these people. She even invited them for makan-makan raya, purposely cooked for them, going shopping, karaoke some more together. When I ask her why she did that, she tell me that they were just her friends for benefits. She wanted to do the same to them. She wanted to used them and have fun whenever she get bored. I wasn’t agreed to this. I always remind her, you only hurting yourself all over again. If you can’t handle it, please stay away from those people.

I just can’t understand that there are some people who choose to be like that. She’s one of it. Just because she wanted to be in the circle of people who perceive to be FUN. Those people whose living like a celebrity wanna be. Baju raya always from a designer’s collection, IG full of FUN time pictures. Always talk about fashion, make-up, really follows trends, always look stylish, went for concert, theatre, carry branded item, have a great place for vacation, this and that.

#bff #lovelyfriends #greattime #greatfriends #girltime #girlfriends

And whenever she post picture with her ‘high-level’ friends, she always put hashtag of #bff #lovelyfriends #greattime #greatfriends #girltime #girlfriends and their picture are all over her IG. She did told me that her friends never post or tag her picture in their IG, not even double tab (like) her picture like I did all the time. Now, I understand why she did the same to me. Because I am her friends for benefits too?? Am I right??

A bit sad to find out there’s something like this. But I won’t do the same to her. I’m sincerely wants to be her friend and being a listener to her story. I just feel a bit sad for her. Whether I’m her friends for benefits or whatever they called it. I’m just grateful enough that I don’t have to be fake just to makes friends with others.

Dear ma friends, I hope you will realize someday. I’ll never feel tired to remind you about this (sometimes I feel I want to slap you). 

Stop hurting yourself. Have pride and move on with your life. You have so many things to be thankful to Allah. Look at the bright side, Allah gave you everything you need without you noticed. Don’t forget that.

I won’t go anywhere. I’ll be here, if you need (want to use) me.

“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” - Rasheed Ogunlaru.